Mr. Messi, here’s every reason you should move to Celtic

Now that Lionel Messi has decided to move on from FC Barcelona, we here at the Celtic Bhoys have a few reasons why he should come to Glasgow.

Lionel Messi is one of the greatest football players of all time, perhaps even the greatest, especially since he has some of his career left. The league championships and European greatness he has achieved is hard to fathom. Now, he is no longer happy at Barcelona. The club can’t seem to field a squad good enough to win at a clip Messi is satisfied with. As such, he is looking for a new club that can.

Well, Mr. Messi, may we interest you in one Celtic FC? You see, Celtic is currently pursuing a record 10 league championships in a row, something that the legend is clearly looking for. Messi wants European football? No problem. With Messi onboard, Champions League qualifying against clubs like Ferencvaros should be no issue. UEFA should just pencil the Hoops into the Group Stage every year from here on out.

You see, we understand Mr. Barcelona loves the Catalan weather, beaches and culture. However, nothing beats Scottish weather. With an average of 265 days a year of rain that leaves *checks notes* 95 days of presumptive sun! Not bad!

We also know Messi loves scoring goals against some of the best competition in the world. No problem over here. Wednesday matches against Partick Thistle will sure wet that whistle. No Scottish record will be safe, therefore Messi can hold some of the most important records in different leagues.

Messi also craves an arch-nemesis. Cristiano Ronaldo played that role for a quite some time and while it made for great drama all good things come to an end. So now it is time for a new rival. No worries, the SPFL has it covered. Enter Alfredo Morelos. The £50 million striker will give even the greatest, such as Messi, great pause. The television revenue from the Glasgow Firm matches will be record breaking.

With all of these reasons why wouldn’t La Pulga Atomica want to make the move to the Hoops? Okay, money. Sure. If Messi really wants to play for the club then he will need to take a paycut. Perhaps Peter Lawwell could find £75k a week for the big man? No more though, he is 33-years of age and holds little sell-on value. Plus, how do we know he can still perform at this age and his flaws won’t be exposed by Ross County? Important questions indeed.

At the end of the day, the legend would make a great addition to the squad. He will have to compete with Ryan Christie, Callum McGregor and Scott Brown for playing time, and Olivier Ntcham may have something to say about that. However, we feel confident Neil Lennon could find a role for him.

So, Mr. Messi, what say you, would you like to join Celtic?